Adventure #8: The Cliffs of Insanity

Adventure #8: The Cliffs of Insanity

Monodendri is similar to Clidonia in that it's not too far from Micro Papingo as the crow flies, but takes a long time to get to. Unfortunately, Penguins don't fly. They're mostly aquatic birds. This is Pen Pen not flying.

Mike drove The Beast, which is a very old VW contraption. Odds are good it's older than me. It's definitely older than Pen Pen. We passed through the sharp winding roads down from Megalo Papingo to the river where we stopped for a quick jump from a 25 foot cliff into freezing water. Then up through Aristi past Vikos to Monodendri. This is Pen Pen singing “The Long and Winding Road.”

The sign as you walk towards the Monastery in Monodendri advertises that the Vikos Gorge is the deepest canyon in the world. I'm pretty sure this is like when you ride the world's oldest wooden roller coaster in San Diego and they announce that it's the world's oldest just before it leaves. It probably wouldn't have been terrifying otherwise, but now it is. This is Pen Pen getting psyched out.

As far as I could tell from the sign in the Monastery which was entirely in Greek, the Monastery was built in 1412. Or it's 1,412 kilometers high. Or the last 4 digits of the phone number is 1412. It's definitely old. The Monastery itself is a series of interconnected buildings, some of which are still standing and in regular use, some of which are crumbling. This is Pen Pen looking down into the courtyard.

Up the staircase is the path that leads to the Cliffs of Insanity. Pen Pen and I went on alone because that seemed like a really great idea at the time. Obviously when going to a place called the Cliffs of Insanity the best course of action is to be as far as possible from anyone who could come help you. The path to the Cliffs of Insanity is a winding path along the rock face about 1 or 2 feet wide. This is Pen Pen thinking this is just a fantastic idea.

I'm not afraid of heights. I have a healthy respect and dislike of them. People from the Midwest who see Jaws are afraid of sharks. Fear is irrational and unfounded. I have a deep respect and dislike for heights. I'm fine with ladders. I'm fine with sky scrapers. It's great heights where a tiny slip or misstep would mean plummeting to my inevitable death that make me a little uneasy. Despite what Ben Gibbard may tell you, falling from such great heights will not result in a fluke hit for your quirky synthpop side project. No. It results in a painful and disfiguring death. And that, Mr. Gibbard, frankly will not fly. This is Pen Pen singing a little Third Eye Blind.

The Cliffs of Insanity are the sort of place that would either be featured in the training montage of an action movie as the residence of the heroes trainer / retired mentor / only person who can save us. Alternately in one of those movies where a photogenic young privileged white person comes to a country of people with much darker skin and learns to appreciate, and sometimes save, their deep and ancient culture. Like in Avatar. As a photogenic young somewhat privileged white person in a country full of people of comparatively darker skin whose culture I already appreciate, I was mostly learning to breathe at regular intervals. The caves along the Cliffs of Insanity were once the home to ascetic monks abstaining from pretty much everything, but now are mostly the home to lizards and tourists. There were probably lizards there back in the day too. This is Pen Pen wishing we had the budget for some cool aerial photography.

About halfway up the path there's a tiny door in the rock which leads to path to the caves. For some reason. My working theory involves Hobbits. This is Pen Pen grateful that there's finally a door that's vaguely height appropriate for him.

We made it past some more ruins and crumbling walls to the caves themselves. Although most had succumbed to time and weather at this point, there was one that still had a dirt floor bed, half an entry way and even the makings of a second room. This was a luxury monk cave. This is Pen Pen contemplating giving up all worldly goods and pleasures.

Much in the same way that the water by the river is a lot less cold once you've already been in it, the walk back wasn't nearly as terrifying. We made it back with a minimum of plummeting thousands of feet to our deaths and watched the company run through "The Killing Room" at the Monastery. This is Pen Pen looking back safely from behind a pile of rubble at the Cliffs of Insanity. 

This is a song I wrote this one time. You should download it and share it with your friends.

Vertigo by nathanleigh