9 years ago I spent one of the more
memorable summers of my life working at the Berkshire Theatre
Festival as the resident sound assistant. I learned a lot through
trial-by-fire. Some of it great some of it very very bad. One of the
very bad ones was a musical called Floyd Collins about a caver from
Kentucky who went looking for a new cave for a tourist attraction,
got stuck there, and died. It's 3 hours long and has exactly one
memorable melody (in fairness the one bit where he sings with his
echo is actually pretty cool). It's maybe the worst play in
existence? No. There are worse. But it's definitely the worst play to
be regularly produced by regional theatres who really ought to know
better. I was headed up through Kentucky and saw a sign for Mammoth
Cave. I remembered there being something about Floyd Collins and
Mammoth Cave and decided to head off on an adventure in a fit of
masochistic nostalgia. This is Pen Pen just glad he isn't being asked
to redesign the work of person he's technically assisting at the 11th
hour.
So I headed off the road. The GPS said
nothing about Floyd Collins, but I knew he was here. Somewhere. I
found Mammoth Cave. But they only had guided tours and A. they cost
money and B. I did have to make it up to Indianapolis at some point.
So that wasn't happening. Dejected I headed back to the highway. Then
I saw the sign. (It opened up my eyes, and I am happy now living
without you) A wood pathway off the side of a side road led to an
unassuming cave opening. A sign implored you not to leave the
pathway. Definitely don't jump the fence. Definitely don't go in the
cave. Obviously that wasn't how this was going down. Fortunately I
didn't get stuck in the cave for 3 weeks, have a media circus erupt
around me, only to die in the cave a few days before being found. But at least 60 years later the grandson of someone actually talented might write a mediocre musical about me? This is Pen Pen singing “Do yo do dee yo” to his echo for 3
hours before stopping anticlimactically.
It's always good to see some friends in Indianapolis. Especially the badass Lents twins. There was cheap booze on a porch. There was a quest for a pineapple.
Some 15 punk bands were started. 14 of them broke up by morning. There are worse ways to spend a
night. This is Pen Pen polishing off a 12 rack of Old Milwaukee
non-alcoholic beer because he's a penguin just like you but he's got
better things to do...
This is a song I wrote one time. You
should download it and share with your friends.
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